In our life we come across many such resources (including websites, divorce experts/attorneys etc) that are working to safeguard marriages and provide ways and means to educate people in-order to have a happy life and stay married forever. On the other hand also there are found organizations, institutions and experts who would do their best efforts to provide happiness to people by drawing them out of miserable marital life they are experiencing for whatsoever reason may be and that’s through divorce.
Well people on both these extremes are doing their part of work in promoting harmony, love and peace amongst people. Some focus on resolving the issues that arises in marital life while others focal point is to show people how divorce can bring an end to miserable relationship letting people breathe freely after they get divorced. But very wisely said it is always better to work on the cause rather than looking at the effect. Therefore we should think on finding the roots of the problems that more often than not occur in marriage and if can not be eradicated at least we can try to avoid them from happening after marriage.
As far the matter of divorce is concerned, The United States of America has the highest divorce rate of 3.8 divorces of 7.5 marriages per 1,000 people.
If we can not save many marriages, although many are making their utmost efforts to preserve it, at least we can try to identify the reason and grounds that become causes of divorce in most of the cases.
Every state of The United States has defined a set of reasons of divorce on the basis of which divorce may be granted. In most cases, the causes of divorce are complex and are specific to a couple's relationship, their troubles, and their own life experiences. Many people have cited “irreconcilable differences,” “irretrievable breakdown,” or “incompatibility” as major causes of divorce in different locations. The most commonly stem from one specific issue that is compounded by a lack of commitment to the marriage and having a poor or bad communication in between each other. There are other common causes of divorce that include money, infidelity, and career choices.
Marriage experts agree to the fact that communication problems are the root causes of divorce and they further lead and give birth to other as well. Because when two people lack communication, they are unable to solve problems that may occur in the marriage. Many married couples think that the minor problems that occur in their marriage, are insignificant, and are not worth talking about; however, they fail to realize that even the smallest things can cause conflict between the two when they are not able to solve them through communication. Many couples lack communication when it comes to making decisions about shared finances. And here money also become of the reason of divorce. Many people say money is the root of evil; the disagreement in a decision shown by one spouse can bring a drastic effect on the marriage.
With this connection when there are mismatch in the decisions made in financial matters, the support provided for children by both the parents weakens a lot. It results in poor child care, poor or no education and every other node of the chain. Eventually children become apple of discord between parents which jeopardizes the marriage. When one of the parents is closely related to children and the other is not able to provide attention, the relation takes another extreme turn and that is affairs (whether emotional infidelity or extramarital sex i.e. adultery) and which is becoming a very common cause and reason of divorce today.
As time passes by a spouse then finds warmth and affection from outside the relationship. Consequently starts cheating on the other and affairs tend to start. The outsider (to the marital relationship) then gradually starts filling hatred in your heart against your spouse. It truly fulfills no purpose, and can only aid in destroying what is left of the couple's marriage.
Therefore, divorce, no matter whatsoever the reason is, is never as easy as it is conceived. Whether a couple’s decision to divorce is for the good or bad, it is certain there are many affect that it has on the couple’s individual lives. The major causes of divorce so far clearly identified could be communication problems, lack of commitments, children support, money, affair and adultery.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Some common causes of Divorce
There are many reasons why people want a divorce. It could be easy to put a reason for the sake of supporting a divorce petition. In reality though, there may be hundreds of unique reasons why certain couples just want out. Sometimes, there is more that just one reason. Here are only some of the possible causes of divorce:
Communication Problems
Communications problems between a couple may possibly exist even long before they tie the knot. Expectations may not have been made clear or certain issues that could affect a marriage were not brought up. Discussing feelings about aspects that are personally important is also crucial but may not always be practiced by couples. Some couples may put little weight on pre-marital issues only to realize during marriage that they should have clearly set things in black and white or that hey should have been better listeners. Communication issues before marriage can get worse after getting married.
Financial Issues
Money or aspects related to it is of course a possible cause of disagreement between couples. Married couples could squabble over such issues as shared financial responsibility, unequal financial status, undisclosed financial state, over spending and lack of financial support. Evidence suggests though that money is not always the sole or primary cause of divorce. Nonetheless, it is still a significant factor. Again, the lack of communication over financial issues is the real culprit here and not money per se.
Forms of Abuse
There are many forms of abuse, all of which are possible causes of divorce. This does not just include intentional and habitual physical battery. Abuse may also come in the form of sexual abuse and emotional abuse. One partner may actively seek to degrade his/her partner through harsh language.
Drug and alcohol abuse as well as excessive gambling that is becoming detrimental to the marriage may also be used as a form of abuse. There may be no physical or verbal abuse but the other partner would understandably have a difficult time managing finances and daily life with an addicted spouse.
Marital Infidelity
The law on marriage that is common on monogamous societies states that marriage must be a mutually exclusive arrangement between two parties. This is of course unless both partners privately consent on their own to see other people while remaining married to each other. Otherwise, one may seek to divorce a spouse if evidence of infidelity is clearly obtained.
Sexual Problems
Sex is an essential aspect of marriage. Couples are expected to consummate or perform the act. That is unless a person knows and accepts before marriage that one partner has some sexual problems. In some cases, sexual dysfunction or disinterest may begin after tying the knot. If a couple is unable to resolve this, it may become a reason for divorce.
Incompatibility
This is often cited as one of the causes of divorce. There are however numerous kinds and forms of incompatibility. A couple may be incompatible in anything and everything. They may not be able to find a common ground sexually, intellectually and emotionally. In cases of incompatibility, it might just be unbearable to live life with someone you just can't fit with.
Communication Problems
Communications problems between a couple may possibly exist even long before they tie the knot. Expectations may not have been made clear or certain issues that could affect a marriage were not brought up. Discussing feelings about aspects that are personally important is also crucial but may not always be practiced by couples. Some couples may put little weight on pre-marital issues only to realize during marriage that they should have clearly set things in black and white or that hey should have been better listeners. Communication issues before marriage can get worse after getting married.
Financial Issues
Money or aspects related to it is of course a possible cause of disagreement between couples. Married couples could squabble over such issues as shared financial responsibility, unequal financial status, undisclosed financial state, over spending and lack of financial support. Evidence suggests though that money is not always the sole or primary cause of divorce. Nonetheless, it is still a significant factor. Again, the lack of communication over financial issues is the real culprit here and not money per se.
Forms of Abuse
There are many forms of abuse, all of which are possible causes of divorce. This does not just include intentional and habitual physical battery. Abuse may also come in the form of sexual abuse and emotional abuse. One partner may actively seek to degrade his/her partner through harsh language.
Drug and alcohol abuse as well as excessive gambling that is becoming detrimental to the marriage may also be used as a form of abuse. There may be no physical or verbal abuse but the other partner would understandably have a difficult time managing finances and daily life with an addicted spouse.
Marital Infidelity
The law on marriage that is common on monogamous societies states that marriage must be a mutually exclusive arrangement between two parties. This is of course unless both partners privately consent on their own to see other people while remaining married to each other. Otherwise, one may seek to divorce a spouse if evidence of infidelity is clearly obtained.
Sexual Problems
Sex is an essential aspect of marriage. Couples are expected to consummate or perform the act. That is unless a person knows and accepts before marriage that one partner has some sexual problems. In some cases, sexual dysfunction or disinterest may begin after tying the knot. If a couple is unable to resolve this, it may become a reason for divorce.
Incompatibility
This is often cited as one of the causes of divorce. There are however numerous kinds and forms of incompatibility. A couple may be incompatible in anything and everything. They may not be able to find a common ground sexually, intellectually and emotionally. In cases of incompatibility, it might just be unbearable to live life with someone you just can't fit with.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Divorce Papers For Legal Divorce Process
Receiving divorce papers is something that most married couples hope to never experience. However, with the divorce rate constantly increasing, more and more people are holding those papers in their hands. I’ve seen coworkers be served with divorce papers at the workplace and know how much it can destroy someone. Even if you know that they will be arriving, it still strikes some emotion inside of you that makes it a tearful event. Those divorce papers symbolize the end of something that should have been wonderful. Perhaps some people long to hold those divorce papers in their hand so that they would finally be free from their misery.
More divorce lawyers are setting up shop all around the world. Why? Because there is a demand for them since more marriages are not working out. It saddens me to see people filing for divorce when they may not have tried any other options. I personally didn’t get married to get divorced, so if my marriage is on shaky grounds, I’ll do whatever I can to restore it. However, if something drastic happens or things really are impossible, then I’d be willing to let go. Divorce sometimes seems too easy and almost as if you’re giving up without even trying. When you say “I do”, make sure you go as far as you can before having those divorce papers served to your spouse.
I’ve seen divorce papers destroy lives as well. The coworker who received hers at work, headed for a downward spiral after that. Until that moment, she’d been hopeful about her marriage working out, and he shocked her by having them delivered to her. She had a nervous breakdown and has never fully recovered. After receiving divorce papers, you have the fun task of dividing up property, assets and finances. Perhaps you need to work out alimony or child support and custody. There are so many things involved. One of both of the partners could have their credit ruined from a divorce. You’ll also discover how much more arguing can take place after filing for divorce. Suddenly, items that you never thought your spouse cared about are being fought over. Pets may become a topic of discussion.
Your divorce papers will always play a role in your life. They should be kept in a safe place in case they’d ever be needed for legal purposes. Don’t ever throw them away. You’ll need them if and when you do ever get remarried. You may need them to prove a legal divorce someday if your spouse ends up getting in financial trouble.
More divorce lawyers are setting up shop all around the world. Why? Because there is a demand for them since more marriages are not working out. It saddens me to see people filing for divorce when they may not have tried any other options. I personally didn’t get married to get divorced, so if my marriage is on shaky grounds, I’ll do whatever I can to restore it. However, if something drastic happens or things really are impossible, then I’d be willing to let go. Divorce sometimes seems too easy and almost as if you’re giving up without even trying. When you say “I do”, make sure you go as far as you can before having those divorce papers served to your spouse.
I’ve seen divorce papers destroy lives as well. The coworker who received hers at work, headed for a downward spiral after that. Until that moment, she’d been hopeful about her marriage working out, and he shocked her by having them delivered to her. She had a nervous breakdown and has never fully recovered. After receiving divorce papers, you have the fun task of dividing up property, assets and finances. Perhaps you need to work out alimony or child support and custody. There are so many things involved. One of both of the partners could have their credit ruined from a divorce. You’ll also discover how much more arguing can take place after filing for divorce. Suddenly, items that you never thought your spouse cared about are being fought over. Pets may become a topic of discussion.
Your divorce papers will always play a role in your life. They should be kept in a safe place in case they’d ever be needed for legal purposes. Don’t ever throw them away. You’ll need them if and when you do ever get remarried. You may need them to prove a legal divorce someday if your spouse ends up getting in financial trouble.
Relationship Issues Leading To Divorce
When you go through the worst in a marriage, sometimes there is nothing you can do but cut your loses and move on. I have a friend who went through what can only be described as a nightmare. She was not abused, but that is one of the few positive things she can say about her marriage. She would not go back and do it differently because if she did she would not have her daughter. However, she has lived through the worst she could imagine, and now she is living her life without the loser she married. The one thing that is missing is the divorce papers.
It would be much simpler if she were not now a single mom of two. The man she wants to divorce has little to no money. Though he finally agrees to the divorce after a few years of trying to talk her out of it, he can’t seem to come up with his half of the money to finalize the end of their relationship. Divorce papers don’t seem to be something he cares about getting, and he is taking his time. She can’t afford to pay for the divorce on her own, so she is going to have to wait for her divorce papers for a little while longer.
I swear it’s like a game to him. He knows she needs the divorce papers to move on with her life, but he seems to stall at every turn. He is buying things like guitars and amplifiers, but he has yet to put a dime towards the divorce. It’s not even like it is a complicated divorce. They know how much it will cost, and he knows what he has to pay. It’s not a lot of money, but for some reason he doesn’t want her to have those divorce papers. He’s selfish. He wants her to himself, but he isn’t willing to give her the same thing. He’s playing a game with her and she knows it.
I have half a mind to pay for the divorce myself just so she can get those divorce papers and move on with her life. The guy she is divorcing is someone I have known my entire life and he has disappointed me more than I ever thought possible. Through everything that happened, he refused to take responsibility for what he was doing, and found away to make it the fault of everyone else, including me. I can’t stand the sight of him, and one of my fondest wishes is to see her standing with the divorce papers in her hand so that she can finally be free of him. It would be worth the price for sure.
It would be much simpler if she were not now a single mom of two. The man she wants to divorce has little to no money. Though he finally agrees to the divorce after a few years of trying to talk her out of it, he can’t seem to come up with his half of the money to finalize the end of their relationship. Divorce papers don’t seem to be something he cares about getting, and he is taking his time. She can’t afford to pay for the divorce on her own, so she is going to have to wait for her divorce papers for a little while longer.
I swear it’s like a game to him. He knows she needs the divorce papers to move on with her life, but he seems to stall at every turn. He is buying things like guitars and amplifiers, but he has yet to put a dime towards the divorce. It’s not even like it is a complicated divorce. They know how much it will cost, and he knows what he has to pay. It’s not a lot of money, but for some reason he doesn’t want her to have those divorce papers. He’s selfish. He wants her to himself, but he isn’t willing to give her the same thing. He’s playing a game with her and she knows it.
I have half a mind to pay for the divorce myself just so she can get those divorce papers and move on with her life. The guy she is divorcing is someone I have known my entire life and he has disappointed me more than I ever thought possible. Through everything that happened, he refused to take responsibility for what he was doing, and found away to make it the fault of everyone else, including me. I can’t stand the sight of him, and one of my fondest wishes is to see her standing with the divorce papers in her hand so that she can finally be free of him. It would be worth the price for sure.
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